


When You Wish Upon Spain's Ass

by FH14



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack, M/M, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2017-11-17 23:01:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FH14/pseuds/FH14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spain's ass is magic and he tells Romano to make a wish. Complete and Utter Crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Wish Upon Spain's Ass

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Completely Cracky OOC mess. If your looking for good smut with a poor premise look elsewhere because this is meant to be a joke.

“…What did you say?” Romano asked, because he clearly hadn’t heard correctly the first time. That would mean.  
  
“My ass is magic,” Spain grinned, turning around and twerking it back and forth.  
  
“Leave,” Romano responded immediately, pointing at the door with a scowl on his face.  
  
“Don’t be like that,” Spain grinned, leaning down and whispering in Romano’s ear. “Touch it the right way and you’ll get three wishes.”  
  
“Wait. So your ass is like a fucking genie?”  
  
“Except you can wish for more wishes. But those extras wishes can only be wishes for more Churros.” Spain stared into the distance, “Mmm. Churros.”  
  
“Will this work?” Romano asked, smacking Spain’s ass as loud as he could. Spain let out a cry that fell somewhere between a wounded gazelle and a chipmunk in heat.  
  
“Yes. But be more gentle as we continue.”  
  
“Well if it’s going further than this, I wish you were a hot woman for the rest of this encounter.”  
  
“Oh Romano, it doesn’t work like that,” Spain lay down on the ground, thrusting his chest into the air. “The Magic is in the Power of Yaoi!”  
  
“What the fuck is a Yaoi?!”  
  
“Wish for Churros!” Spain begged.  
  
“Fuck that. I wish you would shut up.”  
  
With that there was an explosion of mystical fairy dust, and a ball gag appeared in Spain’s mouth.  
  
“Oh Crap,” Romano sighed. “I used up a wish.”  
  
Spain let out a strangled cry that sounded like a lioness giving birth.  
  
“Um, bend over the couch and shove something up your ass?” Romano suggested. He had already smacked Spain’s ass, and he really didn’t feel like putting any more physical effort into this venture.  
  
Spain pulled down his pants and grabbed a dildo from out of thin air and began impaling himself on it. His cries resembled a sheep while its being shaved for wool.  
  
“I have to put in effort again don’t I?” Romano sighed, reluctantly standing up and walking behind Spain, pushing the dildo in all the way. A ding that sounded like an egg timer went off.  
  
“The fuck.”  
  
Spain moaned.  
  
“Um… I wish for a lifetime supply on tomatoes.”  
  
Immediately, tomatoes began to fill the room until they covered every surface.  
  
“Romano,” Spain groaned, removing the ball gag, “I want you to make love to me on the tomatoes.”  
  
“What.”  
  
“Make love to me on the tomatoes, Romano.”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Make love to me on the tomatoes, Romano.”  
  
“Stop.”  
  
“Make love to me Romano!” Spain shouted as if he were a toaster presenting warm bagels, “On the Tomatoes!”  
  
“Fine. If it will end this!” Romano groaned, dropping his pants.  
  
“Oh Romano you’re so big inside of me,” Spain cried out.  
  
“All I did was drop my pants you idiot. The dildo is still in your ass.”  
  
“Are you sure Romano?”  
  
“Oh my god. I’m starting to miss when you made me clean things.”  
  
“You loved me even back then Romano,” Spain rolled onto his back, weeping, “I’m so moved.”  
  
Romano just stared at him, losing the ability to deflect Spain nonsense and just dropped to his knees, pulling the dildo out of Spain’s ass.  
  
“What is your wish, Romano?” Spain asked as his partner angrily entered him.  
  
“I wish your ass would stop being magic.”  
  
“Oh Romano,” Spain cried, unused to the size. “I knew once you saw my Uke face that you would love me for me and not my magic ass.”  
  
“What-“  
  
 _Thrust._  
  
“The fuck-“  
  
 _Thrust._  
  
“Is an UKE?”  
  
Spain cried out as he was thrown into a fit of ecstasy. After collapsing, the fairy dust returned and absconded with the ball gag and the tomatoes.  
  
“Why the fuck did you take my tomatoes?!” Romano screamed at the fairy dust and it swept the tomato juice off his body.  
  
“Romano. What’s going on?” Spain asked in confusion. “Did we..?”  
  
“Of course you have amnesia,” Romano groaned.  
  
“No, it’s coming back to me,” Spain frowned. “Did I..? What the..?”  
  
“No need for the running commentary. I was there.”  
  
“We made love on the tomatoes,” Spain grinned.  
  
“Be happy go lucky or whatever. Just answer this question – What the ever-loving fuck is a ‘Yaoi’ and a ‘Uke’?”  
  
“I have no idea,” Spain frowned. “…up for another round?”  
  
“I guess you bastard,” Romano blushed, leaning down and kissing him.  
  
Twenty minutes later, a young brunette was knocking angrily on the font door of a Japanese-style house.  
  
“I know you’re in there Japan!” Hungary yelled, banging harder, “Your ‘Real Life Yaoi’ vitamins are garbage!”  
  
“No refunds!” Japan yelled from within, causing Hungary to yell louder in frustration.


End file.
